6 Ways to Respectfully Disagree
Posted: January 26, 2014, 8:20 pm
It's not a bad thing to disagree but we often take things other people say the wrong way. I found this on a website and thought it might be helpful to post it here.
1.Don't make it personal. If you get upset, it can help to remember you're mad at the idea or concept the player (or friend, coach, coworker, etc.) is raising, not the person.
2. Avoid putting down the other person's ideas and beliefs. If you've ever been on the receiving end of someone's tirade or put-downs, you know how valuable using respectful language and behavior can be. So instead of saying what you might be thinking ("That's a stupid idea!"), try: "I don't agree, and here's why." Resist the temptation to yell, use sarcasm, or make derogatory comments and you'll have a much better chance of getting your point across.
3. Use "I" statements to communicate how you feel, what you think, and what you want or need. Using "you" statements can sound argumentative.
4. State the topic on which you disagree and explain your position in an articulate and reserved manner. Even if the matter you can't agree on is one that you're passionate about, avoid showing emotions. Refrain from using inflammatory or accusatory language. Whenever possible or appropriate, provide solutions to resolving the disagreement -- don't just complain for the sake of complaining. For example, if you disagree with your boss about a work process, explain what you think is wrong with the process he's developed. Then offer suggestions for improving the process, and provide concrete and rational reasons why you think your method may be better.
5. Listen to the other point of view. Being a good listener is a way of showing that you respect and understand the other person's perspective. That makes it more likely he or she will do the same for you. When the other person is talking, try to stop yourself from thinking about why you disagree or what you'll say next. Instead, focus on what's being said. When it's your turn to talk, repeat any key points the other person made to show you listened and heard what was said. Then calmly present your case and why you disagree.
6. Stay calm. This is the most important thing you can do to keep a conversation on track. Of course, it's a huge challenge to stay calm and rational when you feel angry or passionate about something — especially if the person you're talking to gets heated. You may need to be the mature one who manages the conversation, even if the other person is someone who should know better.
1.Don't make it personal. If you get upset, it can help to remember you're mad at the idea or concept the player (or friend, coach, coworker, etc.) is raising, not the person.
2. Avoid putting down the other person's ideas and beliefs. If you've ever been on the receiving end of someone's tirade or put-downs, you know how valuable using respectful language and behavior can be. So instead of saying what you might be thinking ("That's a stupid idea!"), try: "I don't agree, and here's why." Resist the temptation to yell, use sarcasm, or make derogatory comments and you'll have a much better chance of getting your point across.
3. Use "I" statements to communicate how you feel, what you think, and what you want or need. Using "you" statements can sound argumentative.
4. State the topic on which you disagree and explain your position in an articulate and reserved manner. Even if the matter you can't agree on is one that you're passionate about, avoid showing emotions. Refrain from using inflammatory or accusatory language. Whenever possible or appropriate, provide solutions to resolving the disagreement -- don't just complain for the sake of complaining. For example, if you disagree with your boss about a work process, explain what you think is wrong with the process he's developed. Then offer suggestions for improving the process, and provide concrete and rational reasons why you think your method may be better.
5. Listen to the other point of view. Being a good listener is a way of showing that you respect and understand the other person's perspective. That makes it more likely he or she will do the same for you. When the other person is talking, try to stop yourself from thinking about why you disagree or what you'll say next. Instead, focus on what's being said. When it's your turn to talk, repeat any key points the other person made to show you listened and heard what was said. Then calmly present your case and why you disagree.
6. Stay calm. This is the most important thing you can do to keep a conversation on track. Of course, it's a huge challenge to stay calm and rational when you feel angry or passionate about something — especially if the person you're talking to gets heated. You may need to be the mature one who manages the conversation, even if the other person is someone who should know better.
