Correcting the essay ( You may get DP's. )( SERIOUS WORK )

[Kaskade]

Hi there,


I have a task, and i really need to correct every single word of this essay, every meaning every problem being found needs to be corrected, and this is a school essay with the subject " English " so please, if you find any kinds of problem, a misspelled word, a misspelled meaning, something wrong please tell me, and if you find any problems, you'll receive a donation point, and if you find a huge one, you'll receive 11 DP's. I have 11 dollars on paypal, and i really don't need the cash as i already have a bunch of items in CS:GO.


Quote the problem that has been found.


Here's the essay, please don't post if you're posting shitty comments, i know i should do this alone, but i have a bunch of other shits to do and im not in the mood to do this task.



Thanks,

Stricter gun law for the United States

In United States it is possible to buy guns from private sellers without identification which means that you can buy a gun more simpler than a beer. Anyone can own a gun in United States and on this essay I am going to discus the ongoing problem with guns. For example, it should not be possible for mentally ill people or children getting their hands on firearm. A striker background check of the weapon customer would make sure that the people who purchase the firearm, are ripe for it. Observe that some states forbid people carrying firearm but this essay is just a general discus about the states in United States that does not forbid guns.

Firstly, it is a fact that every day there are about 50 suicides, 32 murdered and 140 injured people, because of firearm. This is just one of the reasons why firearm laws should be taken more seriously. The guns at home have 22 times bigger chance getting used to kill someone or commit suicide, than used in self protection. There are a lot of child education institutions yearly that are begin victims for terrorism massacres. It takes years for a child to forget something he has seen, that has changed his or her mind psychically, which can be for example genocide. Statics shows us that most of the school murders have been bullies. Toddlers and teenagers in young age can get psychical problems from bullies that leads to committed suicides or massacres. A stricter background check would make it possible for these high amount of deaths by firearm fall to zero. Instead of investing to guns, United States should finance organizations that invest against suicides and mentally ill children.


Secondly, a mentally sick individual can get ahold of a gun as easy as a normal person. There are laws that require background check before someone buys a gun, but this law is not necessity to be followed by private gun sellers. Some people in United States, for example Gerald Humpe, has been diagnosed as psychological illness and they have no chance to buy guns from stores or gun shops. Gerald Humpes’ killed his mother by shooting her in the chest, with a gun. What the policemen realized was that United States law has been underscored, because a mentally sick person could buy a gun by him own. There is no point setting up metal detectors at airports, if people are allowed to walk by them.


Lastly, according to Washington post there is no statistics about how many times children have pulled the trigger witch has results death. Guns are triggered by children, daily. The murdered people are not the only ones who get hurt. There is a big chance a person gets mental problems, after a massacre. One murder can make tens — and up to hundreds of people mentally ill.


In conclusion, a stricter background control, will make US have less firearm robberies, massacres and suicides. There are people who are mentally ill who can buy guns as easy as it can get. There should be background checks about mentally illness people that would avoid them get their hands on firearms.There are a lot of people who accuses the murders for all the bloody job but forgets that the guns were the ones that made it all bloody. Reduce the guns in United States for less mental ill people and less suicides. If the law would change from allowing guns to be sold privately to forbid firearm, it would result less people getting hurt mentally or physically. About 60% of people believe that a stricter law does not create a better country, but people need to realize that a gun deals more damage than a sledgehammer for instance. You can not say against all the facts about how dangerous firearms are. It is a fact that a gun is, in wrong usage, the most brutal killing weapon. If someone is not against guns, do they think we should allow grenades and rocket launchers too?

[Jed]

Stricter gun law for the United States

In United States it is possible to buy guns from private sellers without identification which means that you can buy a gun more simply than a beer. Anyone can own a gun in United States and on this essay I am going to discuss the ongoing problem with guns. For example, it should not be possible for mentally ill people or children getting their hands on firearm. A stricter background check of the weapon customer would make sure that the people who purchase the firearm, are ripe for it. Observe that some states forbid people carrying firearm but this essay is just a general discus about the states in United States that do not forbid guns.

Firstly, it is a fact that every day there are about 50 suicides, 32 murdered and 140 injured people, because of firearm. This is just one of the reasons why firearm laws should be taken more serious. The guns at home have 22 times bigger chance of getting used to kill someone or commit suicide, than used in self protection. There are a lot of child education institutions yearly that are beginning victims for terrorism massacres. It takes years for a child to forget something he has seen, that has changed his or her mind psychically, which can be for example genocide. Statics shows us that most of the school murderers have been bullies. Toddlers and teenagers in young age can get psychical problems from bullies that leads to committed suicides or massacres. A stricter background check would make it possible for these high amount of deaths by firearm fall to zero. Instead of investing to guns, United States should finance organizations that invest against suicides and mentally ill children.


Secondly, a mentally sick individual can get a hold of a gun as easy as a normal person. There are laws that require background check before someone buys a gun, but this law is not necessity to be followed by private gun sellers. Some people in United States, for example Gerald Humpe, has been diagnosed as psychological illness and they have no chance to buy guns from stores or gun shops. Gerald Humpes’ killed his mother by shooting her in the chest, with a gun. What the policemen realized was that United States law has been underscored, because a mentally sick person could buy a gun by himself. There is no point in setting up metal detectors at airports, if people are allowed to walk by them.


Lastly, according to Washington post there are no statistics about how many times children have pulled the trigger which has resulted in death. Guns are triggered by children, daily. The murdered people are not the only ones who get hurt. There is a big chance a person gets mental problems, after a massacre. One murder can make tens — and up to hundreds of people mentally ill.


In conclusion, a stricter background control, will make US have less firearm robberies, massacres and suicides. There are people who are mentally ill who can buy guns as easy as it can get. There should be background checks about mentally ill people that would avoid them getting their hands on firearms.There are a lot of people who accuse the murderers for all the bloody job but forgets that the guns were the ones that made it all bloody. Reducing the guns in United States for less mentally ill people and less suicides. If the law would change from allowing guns to be sold privately to forbid firearm, it would result less people getting hurt mentally or physically. About 60% of people believe that a stricter law does not create a better country, but people need to realize that a gun deals more damage than a sledgehammer for instance. You can not say against all the facts about how dangerous firearms are. It is a fact that a gun is, in wrong usage, the most brutal killing weapon. If someone is not against guns, do they think we should allow grenades and rocket launchers too?

Hope I helped you( I think I missed few myself)

[noʎʞɔnɟ]

Stricter gun law for the United States.

In the United States, it is possible to buy firearms from private sellers without identification which means that you can buy a weapon simpler than a beer. Anyone can own a firearm in the United States and on this essay I am going to discuss the ongoing problem with firearms. For example, it should not be possible for mentally ill people or children getting their hands on firearms. A more in-depth background check of the customer would make sure that the people who purchase the firearm are ready for it. Observe that some states forbid people carrying firearms but this essay is just a general discussion about the states in the United States that do not forbid weapons.

Firstly, it is a fact that every day there are about 50 suicides, 32 murders and 140 injured people because of firearms. This is just one of the reasons why firearm laws should be taken more seriously. A firearm at home has a 22 times bigger chance of being used to kill someone or commit suicide than used in self protection. It takes years for a child to forget something he has seen, something that has changed his or her mentally and/or physically, which can be for example genocide. Statistics show us that most of school murders have been caused by people who have been bullied. Toddlers and teenagers in a young age can get psychical problems from bullies which in turn leads to committing suicides and/or massacres. A stricter background check would make it possible for these high amount of murders caused by a firearm to fall to zero. Instead of investing in guns, the United States should finance organizations that invest against suicides and help mentally ill children.


Secondly, a mentally sick individual can get ahold of a weapon as easy as a normal person. There are laws that require background check before someone buys a firearm but this law is not obligatory to be followed by private gun sellers. Some people in the United States, for example Gerald Humpe, have been diagnosed with a psychological illness and they have no chance to buy weapon from stores or firearm shops. Gerald Humpes’ killed his mother by shooting her in the chest with a gun. What the policemen realized was that the United States law has been underscored because a mentally sick person could buy a gun by his own. There is no point in setting up metal detectors at airports if people are allowed to walk by them.


Lastly, according to a Washington post there are no statistics about how many times children have pulled the trigger which has resulted in a death/murder. Firearms are used by children, daily. The murdered people are not the only ones who get hurt. There is a big chance that a person gets mental problems after a massacre. One murder can make tens — and up to hundreds of people mentally ill.


In conclusion, a stricter background control will make the US have less firearm robberies, massacres and suicides. There are people who are mentally ill who can buyfirearms as easy as it can get. There should be background checks on mentally illness people which in turn would prevent them from getting their hands on firearms. There are a lot of people who accuse the murderers for all the bloody jobs but forget that the weapons were the ones who made it all bloody. Reduce the guns in the United States for less mentally ill people and less suicides would happen. If the law would change from allowing guns to be sold privately to forbidding firearms, it would result in less people getting hurt mentally or physically. About 60% of people believe that a stricter law does not create a better country but people need to realize that a weapon deals more damage than a sledgehammer for instance. It is a fact that a gun is, in wrong usage, the most brutal killing weapon. If someone is not against firearms, do they think we should allow grenades and rocket launchers too?

• Edited some words.
• the United States.
• Edited 'guns'.

I'll accept my payment in CS:GO items; I do not care that much for DPs.

[Moka]

Stricter gun law for the United States.

In the United States, it is possible to buy firearms from private sellers without identification which means that you can buy a weapon simpler than a beer.*Note*It's easier to purchase a firearm illegally from a shady arms dealer than it is to walk into a liquor store, show your ID and get a beer? ** Anyone can own a firearm in the United States and on this essay I am going to discuss the ongoing problem with firearms. For example, it should not be possible for mentally ill people or children getting their hands on firearms. A more in-depth background check of the customer would make sure that the people who purchase the firearm are ready for it. Observe that some states forbid people carrying firearms, but this essay is just a general discussion about the states in the United States that do not forbid weapons.

Firstly, it is a fact that every day there are about 50 suicides, 32 murders and 140 injured people because of firearms. This is just one of the reasons why firearm laws should be taken more seriously. *note* Redundant ** A firearm at home has a 22 times bigger chance of being used to kill someone or commit suicide than used in self protection. It takes years for a child to forget something he has seen, something that has changed his or her mentally and/or*note*You said that "It takes years for a child to forget something HE has seen", but later in the sentence you used both "he" and "she". Please consider using gender neutral terms ** physically, which can be for example genocide. Statistics show us that most of school murders have been caused by people who have been bullied. Toddlers and teenagers in a young age can get physical problems from bullies which in turn leads to committing suicides and/or massacres. A stricter background check would make it possible for these high amounts of murders caused by a firearm to fall to zero. Instead of investing in guns, the United States should finance organizations that invest against suicides and help mentally ill children.


Secondly, a mentally sick individual can get hold of a weapon as easy as a normal person. There are laws that require background checks before someone buys a firearm, but this law is not obligatory to be followed by private gun sellers. Some people in the United States, for example, Gerald Hume, had been diagnosed with a psychological illness and they have no chance to buy weapons from stores or firearm shops.*awk.* Gerald Hume killed his mother by shooting her in the chest with a gun. What the policemen realized was that the United States law has been underscored because a mentally sick person could buy a gun of his own. There is no point in setting up metal detectors at airports if people are allowed to walk by them.
*Note* People walk through metal detectors **


Lastly, according to a Washington post there are no statistics about how many times children have pulled the trigger which has resulted in a death/murder. Firearms are used by children, daily. The murdered people are not the only ones who get hurt. There is a big chance that a person gets mental problems after a massacre. One murder can make tens — and up to hundreds of people mentally ill. *note* Depressed? **


In conclusion, a stricter background control will make the US have less firearm robberies, massacres and suicides. There are people who are mentally ill who can buy firearms as easy as it can get. There should be background checks on mentally ill people which in turn would prevent them from getting their hands on firearms. There are a lot of people who accuse the murderers for all the bloody jobs, but forget that the weapons were the ones who made it all bloody. Reduce the guns in the United States for less mentally ill people and less suicides would happen. If the law would change from allowing guns to be sold privately to forbidding firearms, it would result in less people getting hurt mentally or physically. About 60% of people believe that a stricter law does not create a better country, but people need to realize that a weapon deals more damage than a sledgehammer for instance. It is a fact that a gun is, in wrong usage, the most brutal killing weapon. If someone is not against firearms, do they think we should allow grenades and rocket launchers too?

Skimmed through it

You misspelled that guy's name.
Some of the points made in the essay confused me.
Made some spelling/grammar corrections.
Text written in yellow I suggest you review.
Consider having more variation in your wording as some groups of sentences were repetitive.

[Keenan]

If I were to hand this in to my english teacher.
She'll give me a D.

[Sonit]

Stricter gun law for the United States

In United States it is possible to buy guns from private sellers without identification which means that you can buy a gun more simpler than a beer. Anyone can own a gun in United States and on this essay I am going to discus(Discuss) the ongoing (Current) problem(Problems) with guns. For example, it should not be possible for mentally ill people or children getting their hands on firearm. A striker background check of the weapon customer would make sure that the people who purchase the firearm, are ripe for it. Observe that some states forbid people carrying firearm but this essay is just a general discus(Discussion) about the states in United States that does not forbid guns.

Firstly, it is a fact that every day there are about 50 suicides, 32 murdered and 140 injured people, because of firearm. This is just one of the reasons why firearm laws should be taken more seriously. The guns at home have 22 times bigger chance getting used to kill someone or commit suicide, than(then) used in self protection. There are a lot of child education institutions yearly that are begin victims for terrorism massacres(That begin with victims for terrorism massacres). It takes years for a child to forget something he has seen, that has changed his or her mind psychically, which can be for example genocide. Statics shows us that most of the school murders have been bullies. Toddlers and teenagers in young age can get psychical problems from bullies that leads to committed(Commit) suicides or massacres. A stricter background check would make it possible for these high amount of deaths by firearm fall to zero. Instead of investing to guns, United States should finance organizations that invest against suicides and mentally ill children.


Secondly, a mentally sick individual can get ahold of(attracted towards) a gun as easy as a normal person. There are laws that require background check before someone buys a gun, but this law is not necessity(necessary) to be followed by private gun sellers. Some people in United States, for example Gerald Humpe, has been diagnosed as psychological illness and they have no chance to buy guns from stores or gun shops. Gerald Humpes’(Gerald Humpe) killed his mother by shooting her in the chest, with a gun. What the policemen realized was that United States law has been underscored, because a mentally sick person could buy a gun by him own. There is no point setting up metal detectors at airports, if people are allowed to walk by them.


Lastly, according to Washington post there is no statistics about how many times children have pulled the trigger witch (which) has results death( Has resulted in death). Guns are triggered by children, daily. The murdered people are not the only ones who get hurt. There is a big chance a person gets mental problems, after a massacre. One murder can make tens — and up to hundreds of people mentally ill.


In conclusion, a stricter background control, will make US have less firearm robberies, massacres and suicides. There are people who are mentally ill who(and) can buy guns as easy as it can get. There should be background checks about mentally illness people that would avoid them get their hands on firearms.There are a lot of people who accuses the murders for all the bloody job but forgets that the guns were the ones that made it all bloody. Reduce the guns in United States for less mental ill people and less suicides. If the law would change from allowing guns to be sold privately to forbid firearm, it would result less people getting hurt mentally or physically. About 60% of people believe that a stricter law does not create a better country, but people need to realize that a gun deals more damage than a sledgehammer for instance. You can not say against all the facts about how dangerous firearms are. It is a fact that a gun is, in wrong usage, the most brutal killing weapon. If someone is not against guns, do they think we should allow grenades and rocket launchers too?

[/quote]

[Faraon78910]

If I were to hand this in to my english teacher.
She'll give me a D.

d = dick?

[BeaTen.]

If I were to hand this in to my english teacher.
She'll give me a D.

d = dick?

D grade lmfao

[Faraon78910]

If I were to hand this in to my english teacher.
She'll give me a D.

d = dick?

D grade lmfao

dick is grade wow, in which country you live, i want move there

[Jed]

Let's not go off-topic guys